ChuckManual.py

from random import randint

def chuckmanual(x):
    print ("Chuck Norris Jokes.... This Should Be Fun!")

    ranchoice = (randint(1,13))
    if ranchoice == 1:
        chuck1(0)
    elif ranchoice == 2:
        chuck2(0)
    elif ranchoice == 3:
        chuck3(0)
    elif ranchoice == 4:
        chuck4(0)
    elif ranchoice == 5:
        chuck5(0)
    elif ranchoice == 6:
        chuck6(0)
    elif ranchoice == 7:
        chuck7(0)
    elif ranchoice == 8:
        chuck8(0)
    elif ranchoice == 9:
        chuck9(0)
    elif ranchoice == 10:
        chuck10(0)
    elif ranchoice == 11:
        chuck11(0)
    elif ranchoice == 12:
        chuck12(0)











def chuck1(y):
    y = print("Chuck Norris uses ribbed condoms inside out, so he gets the pleasure.")

def chuck2(y):
    y = print("MacGyver can build an airplane out of gum and paper clips. Chuck Norris can kill him and take it.")

def chuck3(y):
    y = print("Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.")


def chuck4(y):
    y = print("Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his dad did.")

def chuck5(y):
    y = print("Since 1940, the year Chuck Norris was born, roundhouse kick related deaths have increased 13,000 percent.")

def chuck6(y):
    y = print("There are no steroids in baseball. Just players Chuck Norris has breathed on.")

def chuck7(y):
    y = print("When Chuck Norris goes to donate blood, he declines the syringe, and instead requests a hand gun and a bucket.")

def chuck8(y):
    y = print("Pluto is actually an orbiting group of British soldiers from the American Revolution who entered space after the Chuck gave them a roundhouse kick to the face.")

def chuck9(y):
    y = print("Chuck Norris does not teabag the ladies. He potato-sacks them.")

def chuck10(y):
    y = print("In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Chuck Norris could use to kill you, including the room itself.")

def chuck11(y):
    y = print("The Chuck Norris military unit was not used in the game Civilization 4, because a single Chuck Norris could defeat the entire combined nations of the world in one turn.")

def chuck12(y):
    y = print("The Chuck Norris military unit was not used in the game Civilization 4, because a single Chuck Norris could defeat the entire combined nations of the world in one turn.")

#JOKES ARE NOT MINE..... TAKEN FROM http://www.icndb.com/the-jokes-2/